Friendless, brainless, hopeless, helpless

Unemployed. In Greenland.

Ever have one of those days? I think it’s a function of having so many projects 80% done, yet being unable to find the wherewithal to finish any of them.

The Christmas cards are 80% done. I’ve made 80% of the ones I’m going to make; the store-bought ones have names but no addresses on them. (I’m still feeling guilty about my "handmade" and "store-bought" card lists.)

The house is 80% clean. I started cleaning out the dishwasher this morning but was forced to quit by my hyperactive gag reflex. Ugh. Just freakin’ ugh. What the hell is that moldery blackish crap, anyway? And the laundry is 100% not-done. Sorry, dear… I know you need socks and underwear and all those good things, but I’m having a wee bit of a problem actually washing them.

The MOPS steering Christmas party is tonight. I wish I wanted to go.

The MOPS cookie exchange is tomorrow morning. But I’ve already used up my baking urge for the week on a pumpkin sheet cake with cream cheese frosting that was goooood. (I had a small piece for breakfast. Mmmm, squashy!)

I should exercise. Or moisturize. Or economize. Or slenderize. But it’s a cold grey day, and all I really want to do is snuggle up with a cup of foo-foo coffee and the new George R.R. Martin book.

And a final thought for the day: I have always wished people "Merry Christmas" at this time of year. It’s what I celebrate, and I hope other people have a lovely December 25 even if they aren’t doing the whole tree/presents/Luke 2:1-20 thing. But this year I feel as if I’ve been involuntarily conscripted into an evil political campaign promoting Christian hegemony. Every time the words leave my lips, I wonder if whoever hears them thinks I’m participating in Bill O’Reilly’s vile thought experiment. I feel like I need some cards with a disclaimer printed on them: "Even though I may wish you a Merry Christmas, what I really mean is: Have a wonderful celebration of the winter holiday pertaining to your particular culture and/or ethnicity. My desire for your seasonal happiness is in no way linked to anything seen on Fox News or heard on talk radio." Or maybe I need mental reprogramming so I can start wishing people Happy Solstice or Good Yule or the like…

About Molly Newman

Writer, cook and trivia/spelling bee hostess, living it up in North Portland.
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5 Responses to Friendless, brainless, hopeless, helpless

  1. Carla says:

    Hee hee! Love your disclaimer. I usually just say “Happy Holidays” to be safe. Good luck getting the other 20% done and take comfort in the fact that you are waaaaay ahead of some of us, namely, me.

  2. Valerie says:

    right on, sister, right on.
    here’s what i’m putting on MY Christmas cards this year:
    Merry Chrishanukwanzakah to all.

  3. Gwyn says:

    Seasons Greetings works, too.
    I don’t know why we’re getting all offended when all anyone wants to do is offer up well-wishes on our behalf. Sigh.

  4. Helena says:

    Hey, at least you don’t have anyone calling you a hippopotamic land mass.

  5. Summer says:

    I had No idea the new George R, Martin book came out!! And this, after I’ve been waiting ages for it too!!!
    YEEP! Happy day!

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