Calling all writers

Have you turned triumph into tragedy? Are you thankful for the bad times? Are you enough of a sucker to pay $299 to have your 5-10 page "life story" published in an anthology edited by two no-name reprobates with extensive experience in the motivational speaking and nude modeling fields?

Then the Thank God I… project might be right for you!

Submit (with a proper form of payment–i.e., PayPal) your tale of woe coming in the evening and joy coming in the morning today, and your story could be included in one of these 127 (!) volumes of Deathless Prose with such titles as:

  • Thank God For Accidents
  • Thank God My Wife/Husband Left Me
  • Thank God I Was Raped (this gets the WTF?! award)
  • That God I Was Incested (this was narrowly edged out for the WTF?! award, but receives the Audacity in Adding -Ed to a Noun to Verbify It award)
  • Thank God I Don’t Have Orgasms (or else what, you might blaspheme in the heat of the moment?)
  • Thank God I Was/Am a Prescription Drug Addict
  • Thank God I Was Burned
  • Thank God My Baby Died (OMG, I could barely even type that)
  • The capper: Thank God I Died (written, one assumes, with the help of a channeler and/or ouija board)
  • And 118 more!

But despite the seeming comprehensiveness of this list, I think they missed a few…

  • Thank Gawd My Parents Are/Were Cousins
  • Thank God I’m A Pimp
  • Thank God I Lack Bladder/Bowel Control
  • Thank God I Was Castrated
  • Thank God I Have Lice
  • Thank God I’m In Gitmo

So don’t delay… put pen to paper (and funds to PayPal) today! Thanks to the inimitable gin-swilling Miss Snark for pointing out this worthwhile project.

About Molly Newman

Writer, cook and trivia/spelling bee hostess, living it up in North Portland.
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6 Responses to Calling all writers

  1. Herm says:

    No way. I don’t believe it. I almost believed it until I saw that “Thank God I Was Raped TM” was their example…
    Ugh. It can’t be. Can it?

  2. Jac says:

    jeez. “Thank God I” is real! that was the scariest website visit ever…

  3. That is classic. Oh my goodness – thank you for the daily chuckle!

  4. ben says:

    Thank God My Mogwai Got Wet
    Thank Gob My Mogwai Was Fed After Midnight

  5. ben says:

    Thank God My Mogwai Got Wet
    Thank God My Mogwai Was Fed After Midnight

  6. Gwyn says:

    Okay, that Chicken Soup ditty is feeling a mite bit better now. *They* paid me, not the other way around.
    Oy vey. But, as they say, “a sucker is born…”

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