Tenfer Tuesday–Vice City Edition

As Monday elapses and Tuesday arrives, as the swallows return to Capistrano and I return to Grand Junction, so the world turns, the cycle repeats, and it’s time once again for the Ten Random RedMolly Facts: Vice City Stories.

Yeppers, these are those things of which I amn’t, and oughtn’t to be, proud, but which are just as much a part of my character as my many laudable virtues (which will perhaps appear in a future edition of Two Random Facts). Look close, Dear Reader, and revel in the shame…

  1. I am a non-smoker, and yet I carry a pack of Marlboro Reds with me everywhere I go. Call it a fetish, a talisman, a way to make friends at a bar. But there they are. (It’s been the same pack for over a year, and I think all of four cigarettes are missing from it.)
  2. Two words (or a word and a string of numbers): Reno 911.
  3. After a few drinks, I start swearing like a sailor. (Really, I’m working on it. It’s fuckin’ hard.) And I dearly love a good dirty joke.
  4. Last Monday, it took me about three and a half hours to drive from Grand Junction to Boulder (that’s 264 miles, 26 of which has a speed limit of 50). Hee hee hee.
  5. SLAYER! Taste the rage! Also, er, Belle and Sebastian.
  6. I have every intention of being a crazy cat lady when I get old. Three are just not enough.
  7. Errrr, ummm, Mercedes Lackey. (Those of you who have read the open letter to fantasy authors will appreciate the crunchy irony-smack flavor of this one.)
  8. I know it’s very important to conserve resources and save the Earth, but damn, do I enjoy a nice steamy-hot twenty-minute shower. With leg- and armpit-shaving, salt scrub, two kinds of face wash, all the bells ‘n’ whistles.
  9. Red meat! The redder the better! Delicious juicy red filets with knobs of butter and/or blue cheese!
  10. Probably at least once a week, we have a couple of hours of "homeschool" consisting entirely of Rhys playing video games (Educational! Really! Well, sometimes) while I prop my feet up on the coffee table and read a book.

Now you know my secret shame. Well, not so secret; I’m liable to share these with the nearest bartender after a glass or three of delectable delicious Sonoma Coast Zinfandel…


About Molly Newman

Writer, cook and trivia/spelling bee hostess, living it up in North Portland.
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5 Responses to Tenfer Tuesday–Vice City Edition

  1. Amy Sorensen says:

    I am giggling at #6 because I tell my kids that all the time: “You know I am a future crazy cat lady, right? Will you still come and visit me when I’m a crazy cat lady?” and they just associate Mom with FCCL as easily as they associate me with brown hair, muffin top, and too many books open at once.

  2. Mimi says:

    My husband calls me a future crazy cat lady as well.
    And, my thinking spot is the shower – enough said.

  3. azureavian says:

    ok, your rant all aside, i *love* mercedes lackey. sorry, just do. i am not so concerned with grammer and such as i am with whether it is a good story or not. she writes good stories.

  4. Lori V. says:

    Geez, Molly, the doppelganger effect continues!
    Differences? It takes no alcohol to bring out my inner sailor, and I’m a Current Crazy Cat Lady (we only have four, but I frequently imagine how life would be if the six dogs were kitties instead).

  5. Hi Molly,
    I’m not sure if it’s possible to be a future crazy cat man (it would be rather silly to eliminate the possibility based solely on gender), but I’m reasonably confident that my later years will involve many felines. And as you found out, I don’t have to be feeling tipsy for the language to reach the “drunken sailor with a stubbed toe” level.
    I like your blog!

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