A bad kitty

showed up at our house about two weeks ago.

We’re not sure where she came from… we just went by the Humane Society one day, and next thing we knew, there she was, hanging out in our living room. Four months old, three and not-quite-a-half pounds of pure fuzzy wickedness.

Her absolute most favorite trick is wrapping herself around people’s legs when they’re going up or down the steep steep attic stairs and causing them to fall headlong. (Jim has quite the nasty gash on his knee from falling downstairs into the bathroom door a couple of days ago.)

Her second most favorite trick is chewing on cables–the nice thin spaghetti-ish one between my laptop and my speakers is her cable of choice. Closely akin to this little stunt is her "Kitten on the Keys" routine, involving finding miraculous keyboard shortcuts that do things like open up sixteen browser windows or delete your registry with the press of two tiny feet.

Her third most favorite trick is jumping onto people’s calves as they walk by and hanging on for dear life with all four horrible little paws. And all fourteen hundred horrible little teeth.

And her fourth most favorite trick, alas, is finding cunning hiding places in which to go poo-poo on the nice freshly recarpeted upstairs floor. (She has a litterbox of her own, which Princess Ella Bella von Smella will not so much as approach. And she uses it betimes. So it’s not like she’s unclear on the concept.)

She sleeps curled up on the boys’ bed and spends the day trotting around after them trying to participate in their schemes.

Her name is "Mean" Jean Grey Thunderbird Newman. But mostly we just call her, of course, "Kitty."

(Pics to follow, someday maybe, if I ever find the stupid USB card reader.)

About Molly Newman

Writer, cook and trivia/spelling bee hostess, living it up in North Portland.
This entry was posted in Gratuitous Catblogging, Things That Happened. Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to A bad kitty

  1. Zara says:

    Oh..so you got a new kitty???? How fun! Your story is delightfully entertaining to those of us not currently enjoying the trials of a new little one under their feet!
    I hope she settles down into a properly behaved Newman house kitty! Should I bring Miles to show her how it is done? 🙂

  2. Hi you. It’s been a long time. If you need a place to stash a psycho kitten, send her to Cruz. I’ve got just the place (at my place). 😉

  3. Mimi says:

    We have a wild one (who also ended up causing us to put a litter box downstairs because apparently it is too much for her to go upstairs when the need arises).
    My money is on the USB cord being chewed through.

  4. Lori V. says:

    Two cats now? Be careful, Molly, that’s how we started, too. (Now that we have 6 dogs, 4 cats, 2 ferrets, a guinea pig, 4 birds, and the Monty Python killer rabbit!) 😉

  5. Lynn says:

    A very charming, entertaining read to end my day.
    Thanks. 🙂

  6. Sounds like you have your hands full don’t ya!! You always manage to make me smile. See you at CHA!! Hugs Wanda

  7. azureavian says:

    and i see da Elf popping his head up. ::pouts:: he replies to you and not to my emails? i feel unloved.

  8. Laelaps says:

    Yikes! It’s not fun when cats are essentially feral in the house. My current foster cat Beatrice has settled in (although we’re still trying to find her a home) and our older housecat Chase has relaxed a little bit too, although he sleeps behind my pillow every night for safety.

  9. Helena says:

    She sounds like a handful! I cute one, I’m sure.

  10. Rebecca says:

    awwww, Molly, dat’s cute!
    How wonderful of your family to adopt a kitten from the shelter. There are so many kittens needing homes.
    Sometimes new carpets smell funny… that’s probably why she is pooping there. You might check at Petsmart as there are some things you can spray on the carpet that might help. One has essence of orange which cats detest… try the “Nature’s Miracle” brand!
    So says the official Cat Lady of White Harlem!

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