Eighties-off!

So Jim and I just nearly came to blows (hee) over this eternal question:

Which is a better Dead or Alive song: "You Spin Me Right Round" or "Brand New Lover?"

(The correct answer is (b), if you wanted to know.)

Anyway, it led me us to thinking: what if there were to be a no-holds-barred Eighties-Off, in which two songs by a given artist from that much-esteemed decade were to be placed head-to-head in a grungy-ass death match?

It would be freakin’ awesome, that’s what.

So here, for your pleasure and entertainment and edification, I present the first-ever Pic-Dem Eighties-Off contest. There will be prizes, maybe! And if I’ve missed your favorite bands, please  LMK. I’ll add them here or in a future version, mayhap. (Part Deux has already been written…)

  1. Pixies: "Gouge Away" or "Gigantic?"
  2. Mike and the Mechanics: "All I Need is a Miracle" or "Silent Running?"
  3. INXS: "Need You Tonight" or "Never Tear Us Apart?"
  4. Wang Chung: "Dance Hall Days" or "Everybody Have Fun?"
  5. Romeo Void: "Girl in Trouble (is a temporary thing)" or "Never Say Never" (aka "I might like you better if we slept together")?
  6. Thomas Dolby: "She Blinded Me With Science" or "One of Our Submarines?"
  7. Pat Benatar: "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" or "Love is a Battlefield?"
  8. Billy Idol: "White Wedding" or "Rebel Yell?"
  9. B-52s: "Love Shack" or "Rock Lobster?"
  10. Talking Heads: "Burning Down the House" or "Once in a Lifetime?"
  11. The Cars: "Drive" or "Just What I Needed?"
  12. Michael Jackson: "Beat It" or "Billie Jean?"
  13. Guns ‘n’ Roses: "Welcome to the Jungle" or "Sweet Child o’ Mine?" (Disclaimer: My alarm clock plays me the sweet MIDI-fied sounds of "Sweet Child o’ Mine" every morning. Where do we go now?)
  14. Eurhythmics: "Sweet Dreams" or "Here Comes the Rain?"
  15. The Cure: "Boys Don’t Cry" or "Just Like Heaven?"
  16. Cyndi Lauper: "True Colors" or "Time After Time?"
  17. Public Enemy: "Don’t Believe the Hype" or "911 Is a Joke?"
  18. John (Cougar) (Mellencamp): "Jack and Diane" or "Pink Houses?"
  19. Olivia Newton John: "Physical" or "Hopelessly Devoted to You?"
  20. Duran Duran: "Hungry Like the Wolf" or "Rio?"
  21. Culture Club: "Do You Really Want to Hurt Me?" or "Karma Chameleon?"
  22. Terence Trent d’Arby: "Sign Your Name" or "Wishing Well?"
  23. The Smiths: "Bigmouth Strikes Again" or "How Soon is Now?"
  24. The Police: "Spirits in the Material World" or "Murder by Numbers?"
  25. The Clash: "Rock the Casbah" or "Should I Stay or Should I Go?"

and the super-duper bonus question:
Joy Division’s "Heart and Soul" or Sisters of Mercy’s "Lucretia My Reflection?"

Talk amongst yourselves… I’m getting all verklempt.

About Molly Newman

Writer, cook and trivia/spelling bee hostess, living it up in North Portland.
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10 Responses to Eighties-off!

  1. Jen Adams Donnelly says:

    oooh… how delicious to contemplate! I’ve put your Smiths challenge to the ultimate jury. I’ll let you know what they say.

  2. Mimi says:

    Firstly, B of course.
    Pixies: “Gigantic?”
    Mike and the Mechanics: “All I Need is a Miracle”
    INXS: “Need You Tonight” (that’s such a “make me melt” song.
    Wang Chung: “Dance Hall Days”
    Romeo Void: “Never Say Never” (aka “I might like you better if we slept together”)?
    Thomas Dolby: “She Blinded Me With Science”
    Pat Benatar: “Love is a Battlefield?”
    Billy Idol: “White Wedding”
    B-52s: “Rock Lobster?”
    Talking Heads: “Once in a Lifetime?”
    The Cars: “Drive”
    Michael Jackson: Neither, blech.
    Guns ‘n’ Roses: “Sweet Child o’ Mine?” Eurhythmics: Neither “There Must Be An Angel (PLaying with my Heart)
    The Cure: “Just Like Heaven?”
    Cyndi Lauper: “True Colors”
    Public Enemy: “911 Is a Joke?”
    John (Cougar) (Mellencamp): “Jack and Diane”
    Olivia Newton John: “Hopelessly Devoted to You?”
    Duran Duran: “Rio?”
    Culture Club: “Do You Really Want to Hurt Me?”
    Terence Trent d’Arby: “Wishing Well?”
    The Smiths: “How Soon is Now?”
    The Police: “Murder by Numbers?”
    The Clash: “Should I Stay or Should I Go?”
    and the super-duper bonus question:
    Joy Division’s “Heart and Soul”

  3. For YEARS I thought “Hopelessly Devoted to You” was a song called “Hopeless Lady Voted.” And now I am living that truth 🙂
    For Part Deux (Troix, Deuxieme, whatever):
    Depeche Mode: Blasphemous Rumors or Never Let Me Down Again?
    Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark: So in Love or Secret?
    Thompson Twins: Hold Me Now or You Take Me Up?
    Prince: Kiss or When Doves Cry?
    Bauhaus: She’s in Parties or Bela Lugosi’s Dead?
    Love & Rockets: So Alive or Ball of Confusion?
    New Order: Blue Monday or Bizarre Love Triangle
    And I have third choices for these:
    B-52s: Quiche Lorraine
    Eurhythmics: Who’s That Girl
    The Cure: Lovecats
    Must stop; getting maudlin and weepy now…

  4. Lori V. says:

    Disclaimer: For some of these artists, I actually prefer one of their lesser-known songs or lesser hits, but I’ll make the choice of the givens & include my actual fave in parentheses, if applicable.
    1. Pixies: “Gouge Away”
    2. Mike and the Mechanics: “All I Need is a Miracle”
    3. INXS: “Need You Tonight” (though I prefer “Devil Inside”)
    4. Wang Chung: “Dance Hall Days”
    5. Romeo Void: “Girl in Trouble (is a temporary thing)”
    6. Thomas Dolby: “She Blinded Me With Science”
    7. Pat Benatar: “Love is a Battlefield” (though I prefer “We Belong”)
    8. Billy Idol: “White Wedding”
    9. B-52s: “Love Shack”
    10. Talking Heads: “Burning Down the House”
    11. The Cars: “Drive”
    12. Michael Jackson: “Beat It”
    13. Guns ‘n’ Roses: “Sweet Child o’ Mine?”
    14. Eurhythmics: “Here Comes the Rain?”
    15. The Cure: “Just Like Heaven?”
    16. Cyndi Lauper: “True Colors”
    17. Public Enemy: “911 Is a Joke?”
    18. John (Cougar) (Mellencamp): “Pink Houses”
    19. Olivia Newton John: I object due to one of the choices being 70’s, not 80s… 😛
    20. Duran Duran: “Rio” (Mark’s answer? “They always started out doing something interesting with their riffs and then they just had to do something strange & ugly with the harmony, goddammit, they ruined every song they ever did!” LOL)
    21. Culture Club: “Karma Chameleon?”
    22. Terence Trent d’Arby: “Sign Your Name” (though I prefer “Dance Little Sister”)
    23. The Smiths: “How Soon is Now?”
    24. The Police: “Murder by Numbers?” (though I prefer “King of Pain” or the classically creepy “Every Breath You Take”)
    25. The Clash: “Should I Stay or Should I Go?”

  5. Lori V. says:

    Dammit, I left too many question marks… that’s gonna bug me!

  6. Ummmm…. I would have gone with A. But I had to think about it (and I may be biased because I owned both on 12″ so I’m weighing in the remixes as well).
    1. Pixies: “Gigantic”
    2. Mike and the Mechanics: “Silent Running”
    3. INXS: “Never Tear Us Apart”
    4. Wang Chung: “Dance Hall Days” (love that video… classic!)
    5. Romeo Void: “Never Say Never” (aka “I might like you better if we slept together”)
    6. Thomas Dolby: “She Blinded Me With Science”
    7. Pat Benatar: “Love is a Battlefield” (video again)
    8. Billy Idol: “Rebel Yell”
    9. B-52s: “Love Shack”
    10. Talking Heads: “Burning Down the House” (this song performed live – wow, David Byrne gives me chills!)
    11. The Cars: “Drive”
    12. Michael Jackson: “Billie Jean”
    13. Guns ‘n’ Roses: “Sweet Child o’ Mine”
    14. Eurhythmics: “Here Comes the Rain”
    15. The Cure: “Boys Don’t Cry” (I’m actually listening to The Cure right now!)
    16. Cyndi Lauper: “Time After Time”
    17. Public Enemy: “911 Is a Joke” (Get up get ge-get down, 911’s a joke in Oaktown)
    18. John (Cougar) (Mellencamp): “Pink Houses”
    19. Olivia Newton John: “Physical”
    20. Duran Duran: “Rio”
    21. Culture Club: “Do You Really Want to Hurt Me?”
    22. Terence Trent d’Arby: “Wishing Well”
    23. The Smiths: “How Soon is Now” (I spent many angst filled afternoons in my room at 16 playing this song over and over and over again at top volume.)
    24. The Police: “Spirits in the Material World”
    25. The Clash: “Rock the Casbah” (Or “rock the cash bar” as we used to sing it)
    Oh, and you just cannot CANNOT put Joy Division up against Sisters of Mercy. Its just not fair or right. I’ll pick Joy Division purely because I have Joy Division playing on my My Space right now but its NOT a fair question!!!

  7. Jen Adams Donnelly says:

    The consensus is in… Bigmouth Strikes again wins.

  8. RedMolly says:

    Bigmouth Strikes again wins.

    Well, yeah. 🙂 Tell your fellow Moz-fans thanks, and that they have excellent taste.
    (Jim and I still need to put up our picks.)

  9. Amy Sorensen says:

    So…as usual I’m more than a day late…but I’m going to play anyway, just because this post made me happy. It has also re-ignited my fruitless search for downloadable Sisters of Mercy (as I have not yet succumbed to the i-tunes collective; my desire, though, to jam out to This Corrosion is making me feel that resistance is futile). Anyway, my choices plus a titch of commentary:
    Pixies: “Gouge Away”
    Mike and the Mechanics: “All I Need is a Miracle”
    INXS: As my favorite INXS song is “Kiss the Dirt,” I have to say neither!
    Wang Chung: Neither, but thanks for the inescapable “everybody wang chung tonight!” lyric; I’ll be humming it all night!
    Romeo Void: “Girl in Trouble (is a temporary thing)”
    Thomas Dolby: “She Blinded Me With Science”
    Pat Benatar: “Love is a Battlefield” (because, really: isn’t it???)
    Billy Idol: “White Wedding”
    B-52s: has to be “Private Idaho”
    Talking Heads: “Burning Down the House”
    The Cars: “Just What I Needed”
    Michael Jackson: “Billie Jean,” although I have to add that I always thought M.J. was creepy, even in his teenage-idol days
    Guns ‘n’ Roses: “Welcome to the Jungle” (Disclaimer: I could never admit to my Goth friends my affection for GnR)
    Eurhythmics: “Love is a Stranger”
    The Cure: “Charlotte Sometimes”
    Cyndi Lauper: “True Colors”
    Public Enemy: No idea! Never listened to them, how embarrassing is that??
    John (Cougar) (Mellencamp): “Jack and Diane”
    Olivia Newton John: “Physical”
    Duran Duran: “Rio”
    Culture Club: “Do You Really Want to Hurt Me?” (I have a cousin—a girl cousin—who looks just like Boy George and I find myself humming this whenever I see her)
    Terence Trent d’Arby: “Wishing Well”
    The Smiths: “How Soon is Now?” although it’s a close tie to “There is a Light That Never Goes Out,” which loses because the title is too damn long
    The Police: “Spirits in the Material World”
    The Clash: “Rock the Casbah”
    And, if it matters, I vote Sisters of Mercy over Joy Division any day!

  10. Becky says:

    How did I miss this earlier in the month? My college days are flashing before my (teary) eyes…
    Do I dare admit I still have most of these — on LP?

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