A [me] by any other na[me]

Here we go again for another ride on the meme train, via JeniDallas.

1. your rock star name (first pet & first car). Spike Voyager (or, heck, Spike Dasher… they both rock).

2. your gangsta name (fav ice cream flavor, favorite cookie). Coffee Mocha Chip gonna bust a cap in your ass, sucka.

3. your “fly girl"? name (first initial of first name, first three letters of your last name).  RMol, ha ha ha ha.

4. your detective name (fav color, fav animal).   Black Meerkat. "She was a redheaded dame… not tall, not busty, and the red was as genuine as a three-dollar-bill… but a dame nonetheless. They called her Black Meerkat, which no one could really explain but which suited her in a fleabitten Kalahari-lurking kinda way. She sashayed into my office and pounced on my heart like Flower Whiskers taking on a six-inch scorpion."

5. your soap opera name (middle name, city where you were born) Rebecca Santa Barbara. That sounds fancy as all get out, doesn’t it? Like someone who could go from sipping champagne with her ex-husband/current co-investor in a seaside condo development to ripping a chunk of hair out of her evil twin’s scalp as revenge for the helicopter "accident" without missing a beat.

6. your Star Wars name (first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first). Llyre. Sounds almost Tolkienesque, doesn’t it? Those ddoublle conssonannts givve evverythinng such a fanntasticcal flavvorr.

7. superhero name (the? + 2nd fav color, fav drink).  The Red Wine. Superpower: either discerning vintage and appellation in a single bound, or complaining a lot.

8. nascar name (the first names of your grandfathers). Hal Frederick. Racing to win, baby. Racing to win.

9. stripper name ( the name of your fav perfume/cologne/scent, fav candy). This one’s hard ’cause I don’t wear perfume or cologne. How about Lavender Skor, ha ha ha?

10. witness protection name (mother’s & father’s middle names ). Rae Wilson. Sounds kind of strippertastic, doesn’t it? Or like something that would be suffixed with "…get yer butt back in the trailer!"

11. tv weather anchor name (your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter). Knudsen Kansas City? That doesn’t work at all well, does it?

12. spy name (your fav season/holiday, flower). Autumn Hydrangea. That totally blends into any crowd and/or passenger list.

13. cartoon name (fav fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now + “ie" or “y"). Raspberry Hoodie. Hoodie-y? Hoodieie? (Vaguely Hawaiian, no?)

14. hippie name (what you ate for breakfast, your fav tree). Nothing Sequoia. I’m seriously considering adopting this as my legal name.

15. your rockstar tour name (the + your fav hobby/craft, fav weather element + “tour"). The Procrastinating Downpour Tour.

As always, LMKIYP, TVYM, XOXO.

About Molly Newman

Writer, cook and trivia/spelling bee hostess, living it up in North Portland.
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7 Responses to A [me] by any other na[me]

  1. Lori V. says:

    OMG, Molly… I haven’t even gotten to the end of this, so I’ll prob. comment twice, but how sad is it that Flower died? I most definitely would NOT want to be reincarnated as a meerkat… it’s a brutal life… damn!

  2. LMAO.
    I bet you could flip the weathergirl one… something like Kalamazoo Knudsen….

  3. Herm says:

    Or for the weathergirl one: Singer San Francisco? For me (along with KKC and SSF): Whittock Washington, which is actually pretty great.
    Nothing Sequoia is really a fantastic name. It made me laugh. Mine would be Applecake Oak, which is far less poetical. Ditto my soap opera name: Frances Chowchilla. Not glamorous.

  4. Stephanie T. says:

    The good part: this was hysterical!
    The sad part: As a child of the whole 60’s thing, many of these names have already been taken.
    The good part: Since most of us are old and crusty by now, you can still use Spike Voyager and Nothing Sequoia (Laurel Birch and April Shauer are still alive and kickin’)
    I mean really…where did you think ‘Earthmother_ came from???

  5. GAWD I love this one! I gotta try it!

  6. azureavian says:

    ok, be on the lookout for mine! heheee

  7. molly jones says:

    too funny! I think my best was my stripper name Orange Blossom Godiva lol!

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