(That's "It's OK If You're A Republican," if you didn't already know.)

Damn. I have been wanting and wanting and wanting to write a nice snarky post on Sarah Palin. Originally to be titled "Sarah Freakin' Palin?!" But the bombshells won't stop dropping long enough for me to compose myself & my post. So I'll just do the best I can here, and exhibit the most restraint possible.

So Obama's campaign and the overlords of the liberal blogosphere have been pleading for people to stop pointing out the Palin family's personal idiosyncrasies and focus on Sarah Palin's grasp (or lack thereof, really) of the issues instead. But it just seems to me that if your political life has been dedicated to punishing women for having sex (even sex against their will), banning books that threaten to inform kids about sex and attending churches that go on and on about how dreadful and horrible all non-married non-hetero sex is (and about how those who oppose Bush are traitors and those who voted for Kerry won't be going to heaven)…

…maybe you should at least be able to keep your daughter from getting knocked up by a self-described "fuckin' redneck" whose passions include guns, fish and "not having any kids."*

That's abstinence-based education at work, folks. That's Sarah Palin's (and John McCain's) vision for the future of this great country. Shotgun weddings of underinformed teenagers… teenagers who will then go on to crank out more babies for Jesus.

So maybe this makes me an elitist. An evil, Cabernet-sipping, left-coast liberal elitist who can't see past people's crusty (ew) Alaskan exteriors to the hearts of gold that beat within them. Well, if not wanting decisions about my family's and my country's future to be made by someone who offers a $150 bounty for each wolf's foreleg a hunter turns in, someone who believes the earth is 6000 years old and wants creationism taught in schools, someone who thinks it's God's will to build new oil pipelines and slaughter Muslims makes me an elitist… well, then, I say bring on the Cabernet!

Next time, maybe, but probably not: Sarah Palin's record as a pork-chasing, vindictive petty tyrant. Woo hoo!

*Please note that I'm not blaming Palin's daughter's having had sex on Palin herself. Hell, high school kids have sex all the time, and more power to 'em. However, I do blame her anti-contraception, anti-information, anti-reality stance for her daughter's pregnancy. My older kid isn't even ten yet and he knows about where babies come from and about the existence of reliable contraceptives. Fercryinoutloud, people.


About Molly Newman

Writer, cook and trivia/spelling bee hostess, living it up in North Portland.
This entry was posted in Pointless Rants, Politics. Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to IOKIYAR

  1. Stephanie T. says:

    Amen sister! I’m raising my glass of cab to you! McCain gives me nightmares…really…the guy freaks me out… And Palin??? Oh my freakin’ gawd! Could anyone be LESS qualified to take over the country if McCAin croaks?? Don’t even get me started…Thanks for giving my angst a voice.
    Shaking my head…over and over and over in utter disgust for the republican ticket.

  2. Becky says:

    John McCain’s staff’s inability to do basic research is frightening. Whoever over there thought the Palins were ready for prime time…
    I’m just hoping this gets McCain gone before he does REAL damage. One of the problems with mavericks is that they tend to shoot first and ask questions later.

  3. Elizabeth says:

    So, so, so well put. We have to wonder: did he just run out of options? Did everyone he asked say, hey, attach myself to a losing ticket? Thanks but no thanks. I am just incredulous at this amazing gaffe!

  4. Summer says:

    Did you notice when McCain nominated her she had her family trooped in behind her and little daughter preggo was saddled with holding the latest of the Palin brood ( 9 mos. I believe ) as a cleverly concealed shield over her own belly? Although as the McCain camp says, she had nothing to hide. Of course Mr. McCain knew all about this when he read her name off the paper to become his VP nom.
    I didn’t know the bit about the 150 dollar bounty on wolf legs….sounds par for the course with her. TOday on a local talk radio show that swings the conservative way, they were trying to talk about her toughness as in ” taking on the boys club of Alaska. ” Alaska!!!!??? She looks like a Ball-busting, harridan version of Tina Fey. I’m throwing out my bets that TIna’s going to make an appearance on SNL at some point this season as S.P.

  5. Mimi says:

    It is a fascinating study in how to vet a candidate, isn’t it?

  6. McCain knew all along. That’s the main reason he chose her. That’s why James Dobson was interviewed on talk radio with an hour of her announcement explaining why he could now vote for McCain.
    As the Convenience Christians always remind us, “After all, men [and apparently women] are sinners. And that’s why we need Jesus. Sarah and Levi will be forgiven because they’ve Made The Right Choice.”
    The Down Syndrome child got her in the door, and the pregnant daughter sealed the deal.
    If they pull her from the ticket, if will be for “troopergate” or the earmark business. But they won’t. She’s their free pass to the evangelical vote. She will also pull a huge chunk of fundamentalist black voters (many of whom are frequent Planned Parenthood picketers in the south) who are uncomfortable with Obama.

  7. Janelle says:

    I’m loving it. Finally somebody interesting running for national office! I mean, this is such an improvement over Kerry/Kemp/Dole/Clinton/Gore/Cheney/Bush et al…I was getting SO sick of old dull white guys. Sarah Palin’s family promises the kind of entertainment we haven’t had since Billy Carter. A tiny part of me actually hopes they win, just for my own personal diversion.

  8. I have bestowed upon you an “I Love Your Blog” award. I would insert the cutesy graphic if only I could figure how to do so.
    Alas, therefore, you must visit my site to pick it up!
    Happy Fall,

  9. Stephanie T. says:

    omg…i had nightmares after palin’s speech last night…seriously, mccain creeps me out… but HER? i got sick to my stomach
    if the republican’s win this election, this country will be in mighty deep kimchee

  10. Melissa says:

    Cheers! Beautifully written. Pass the Cab…

  11. Cross post tonight. Lazy.
    You guys have a cab (bastards). I just had a Chardonnay from Ripon (I’m in Alabama, I thought it was a good deal…oops) that I threw away after a few sips. Now, where’s my Pale Ale from Wisconsin?

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